I received a package in the mail the other day. Yay! Inside were some things I'd left at home, like my CD case full of CDs that have all my pictures on them, and some very Peruvian things, like three bottles of Inca Kola. I loved it. Unfortunately though, they all made me homesick.
According to my research, which consisted of asking one person, there are several things you can do when you're feeling homesick: 1. Cry. 2. Eat chocolate. 3. Call home. 4. Read the Bible. And 5. Write poetry. I already cried tonight. Eating chocolate makes me feel like I'm on the verge of breaking out (I'm probably not but my brain doesn't seem to agree). I talked to my mom (and I'm still cleaning my tears off of my phone). I really don't feel like reading the Bible right now (I will soon, just not right now). I added one of my own: purposefully accidentally texting your crush/ friend you really want to talk to but don't know how to broach the subject. I do not suggest doing this. I immediately felt like a Middle Schooler (no offense to those of you in 6th-8th grade, it's just something I would have done when I was in Middle School). Nobody is going to read this, much less said crush, so it's ok that I share that on here. If someone does though, just forget the last three sentences.
Anyways, that leaves writing poetry. I have no idea what the end result of this is going to be so . . . here goes:
It's worth it, it really is.
Yes, I know.
I know it's good that I'm here.
I know that this is
Where I'm supposed to be now.
I know I wouldn't trade it.
But there are other things
I know to be true.
It'd be good if I were there.
Supposed to be and want
To be are two different things.
Trading is impossible.
So God, why?
Why did you put me here?
Why is this my situation?
What could I possibly benefit
From waiting so long
Just to go home?
Why can't I feel you?
So I cry and try not to
Because it hurts mom too.
I force a laugh and say
Something funny
But after the call,
When they can't hear me,
I have to wait a while
Before the tears and sobs
Stop.
And even then
My heart doesn't.
Of all the things I could want
The one I can't forget
Goes without saying for others
But will take a miracle for me.
I just want to go home.
